Now I don’t know a ton about girls, I’ll be the first to admit it. I don’t know if they like being hit on, if size matters, or where they pee out of. It’s a mystery like the bermuda triangle, but one thing I do know is that girls love a mysterious adventure.
This is why when I’m out on a date and things are getting a little stale, I will pay the waiter $40 to come up to the table and say “Sorry to inturupt, Mr. White but TIRAMISU is not on the menu” and then give me a menacing nod. Then I will put a very serious look on my face, jump up,punch the waiter in the face flip the table and grab my date by the hand say “They found me, we have to leave now, follow me”. Then I dart out the back door and jump in my car. I say “I’m sorry you have become a part of this, but if you don’t do what I say they will kill you to get to me.”
As she gets scared i yell “How do they know about Berlin!..your cell phone, give me your cell phone” Then I open up the back of her phone and and say “Bugged” and then throw it out the window of my Mitsubishi Lancer. Than I drop her off under a bridge and tell her to meet me in the Marion Hotel under the name Samantha Stone in 40 minutes. After we bang, I tell her to go underground for a few weeks and to “stay off the grid”.
They usually see me at a Jamba-Juice a few weeks later and get really upset, but deep down I bet they had a lot of fun.
February 2009
40 posts
Our new president also set a plan in motion to increase fleet-wide fuel economy to 35 MPG over the next ten years or so. This 40% increase would mean substantial decreases in greenhouse emissions,…
With 20 new plugins, faster search, better results,animated themes, and 111 fewer bugs, your desktop’s killer app just got killer-er. Oh, and then there’s Docky, a whole new way to Do.
January 2009
59 posts
Who has clearly practiced being a smartass for at least 10,000 hours. Just like The Beatles. Also, Hush Puppies are popular because The Beatles played a lot in Hamburg. There’s supposedly a whole big study about it. Or, something.
(via tmblg)
Linux is the “good enough” philosophy realized.
Death to america magic carpet extravaganza brought to you by al jazera
ca-pub-9485855554476895
A T-Shirt that will define a generation
Saddlebacking: sad•dle•back•ing \ˈsa-dəl-ˈba-kiŋ\ vb [fr. Saddleback Church] (2009): the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginities
After attending the Purity Ball, Heather and Bill saddlebacked all night because she’s saving herself for marriage.
Keep in mind in, order to criticize you have to pretend you are flawless; this is not the case.
It’s sleek. It’s beautiful. And VW’s latest roadster saves you $$$ on fuel. Oh, did I mention it has a 177HP diesel engine?
If you’re going to filter your communication through an intermediary they have to have some understanding of what they are communicating.
emacs is magic.
